Saturday, March 21, 2009

Who Am I?

After a long contemplation I have decided to write something about me, after all this is my first post. So I am a fun loving girl who believes in family values, not a superstitious person and not an atheist, very moody and often regret some conversations and acts, always trying to be a strong person and even thrive it sometimes.But I know basically I am an emotional fool after all I am an Indian. I get attached with people chronically so avoid realizing them as my friend so easily though I would help them in every possible way, but I don't let the feeling come to me that they are my friends, one of the reasons may be that I am very possessive about all whom I love, which includes my family and my friends(countable on fingers). And I know that I should not be but what to do I am, I can do anything for them and expect same from them(must be thinking its really dangerous to be my friend but thats the truth so beware). May be thats why I give full time to the other person to do something that is not expected by me before I find a friend in him/her. I am lazy, very lazy, always busy in making plans but never implemented any, implementation is always left for the future, that never comes. Always regret the past but never work hard to change it though i know all the philosophical words "why to regret past, why not to change future ...................." and all and even I can give a good lecture on that but it's hard to implement. People expect alot from me and I know I can do it but because of my carelessness I screw up everything. It's not like I never do anything, I do work hard that brings hopes to my well-wishers but I am so impatient that can't carry it to the end......................success entices me to work hard and when I don't get that I leave that, and can't do anything that I don't like. Sometimes I wonder what really do I want? Sometimes I feel that I am a mature girl, and then I ask myself am I really?It doesn't mean that if you can travel alone or if you can handle few things by your own then you are a mature person .........................other day I would think yes I got my aim !!!I want to do it!Next day I change my mood................So my views keep changing about myself. May be some time later I won't think the way I've written now about myself and that's why I often ask myself some answered questions "would i be able to do something in my life?" "what do i really want?" and the biggest question "who am i?"